Friday, August 8, 2008
The Chronicles of Princess Fabulous and the Maintenance Mama
Once upon a time, in a land starting with I and ending with daho, lived a sweet little girl named Princess Fabulous. Princess Fabulous lived with her mother and a slew of boys! While she had always wanted a sister, she would soon find out that there were plenty of advantages to being the only girl.
For some time now, Princess Fabulous had had a beef with her mother, hereafter affectionately referred to as the Maintenance Mama. Princess Fabulous felt totally short changed. The Maintenance Mama could be exceptionally cruel. What do you mean, you ask? Well, she actually made Princess fabulous get her hair cut ------at home! *collective gasp!*
One day, however, when the Maintenance Mama was preparing to make an appointment for herself at the salon, she gave way to her softer side, and decided since Princess Fabulous was preparing for an ever important event- beginning kindergarten- she would take her for the first time, to...wait for it........
Princess Fabulous didn't think life could get any sweeter! So on that special day, the Maintenance Mama and Princess Fabulous left the boys to do boy things, while they headed southward, to the Land of Seward, where the glorious Jessica would work her magic on the Maintenance Mama's unsightly roots, and make the beautiful Princess even more stunning- if that's possible.
So glorious Jessica (who Princess Fabulous said was soooooooo pretty) whipped up a magic potion that turned the Maintenance Mama's coif from White Trash-tastic to Blonde Bombshell in mere hours, and ship-shaped the mane of Princess Fabulous. She was now ready for her big debut as the Kindergarten Kid---or was she.
Little did she know that the Maintenance Mama had so enjoyed this endeavor, that she made further plans for the two of them. A couple of days later, the boys were once again left to do whatever it is boys do when those girls aren't around, and they headed for.....wait for it....
THE NAIL SALON!!!!
The Maintenance Mama treated herself to a full set of nails and a much needed pedicure (triathlon training doesn't make for attractive feet), while Princess Fabulous got her fingernails and toenails both painted- with beautiful flowers! What a bonding moment it was for the two of them.
The Maintenance Mama told her handsome husband, King Flatulence, about their adventures. He told her that some day, some poor man would curse her for creating a monster!! She hoped, in her heart of hearts, that whomever was lucky enough to land the hand of the dear princess, would appreciate this girly side she comes by so rightly.
And thus ends the first chapter in the Chronicles of Princess Fabulous and the Maintenance Mama.