The Chronicles of Princess Fabulous and the Maintenance Mama

Once upon a time, in a land starting with I and ending with daho, lived a sweet little girl named Princess Fabulous. Princess Fabulous lived with her mother and a slew of boys! While she had always wanted a sister, she would soon find out that there were plenty of advantages to being the only girl.

For some time now, Princess Fabulous had had a beef with her mother, hereafter affectionately referred to as the Maintenance Mama. Princess Fabulous felt totally short changed. The Maintenance Mama could be exceptionally cruel. What do you mean, you ask? Well, she actually made Princess fabulous get her hair cut ------at home! *collective gasp!*

One day, however, when the Maintenance Mama was preparing to make an appointment for herself at the salon, she gave way to her softer side, and decided since Princess Fabulous was preparing for an ever important event- beginning kindergarten- she would take her for the first time, to...wait for it........

THE SALON!!!!!!

Princess Fabulous didn't think life could get any sweeter! So on that special day, the Maintenance Mama and Princess Fabulous left the boys to do boy things, while they headed southward, to the Land of Seward, where the glorious Jessica would work her magic on the Maintenance Mama's unsightly roots, and make the beautiful Princess even more stunning- if that's possible.

So glorious Jessica (who Princess Fabulous said was soooooooo pretty) whipped up a magic potion that turned the Maintenance Mama's coif from White Trash-tastic to Blonde Bombshell in mere hours, and ship-shaped the mane of Princess Fabulous. She was now ready for her big debut as the Kindergarten Kid---or was she.

Little did she know that the Maintenance Mama had so enjoyed this endeavor, that she made further plans for the two of them. A couple of days later, the boys were once again left to do whatever it is boys do when those girls aren't around, and they headed for.....wait for it....

THE NAIL SALON!!!!

The Maintenance Mama treated herself to a full set of nails and a much needed pedicure (triathlon training doesn't make for attractive feet), while Princess Fabulous got her fingernails and toenails both painted- with beautiful flowers! What a bonding moment it was for the two of them.

The Maintenance Mama told her handsome husband, King Flatulence, about their adventures. He told her that some day, some poor man would curse her for creating a monster!! She hoped, in her heart of hearts, that whomever was lucky enough to land the hand of the dear princess, would appreciate this girly side she comes by so rightly.

And thus ends the first chapter in the Chronicles of Princess Fabulous and the Maintenance Mama.

OOoooh Baby- Two more new babies

Lol, no, we are NOT pregnant again, and no certainly not with twins! But we did get 2 new babies...
This is my new baby-the Lady in Red ;) Isn't she beautiful? I had a road bike already but it was an aluminum body (I guess I should explain for those that aren't familiar with bikes- aluminum is a heavier bike than carbon, the lighter the bike, the faster the bike) and just a basic road bike, nothing fancy. I really, really wanted to upgrade to an all carbon body with Ultegra components (the parts of the bike other than the body itself, Ultegra is an upgraded component from what was on my old bike). I also wanted to go down to a 54cm frame (the size of bike) from the 56cm that I had. I went with the Felt F4 (the make and model of the bike). Daniel is just starting out in the triathlon world, and in true Daniel form, he wanted to start off with the good stuff, so he wanted one too.

This is Daniel's new baby, yet to be named. He actually needed a 60cm frame, so his is a giant Giant OCR c2 (the Make is Giant, the model is the OCR c2) ;)

We both went with last year's model and because we bought both bikes, we were able to save $1100 on the bikes.

I give it it's first long ride tomorrow, and I can't wait to see how it performs. Then I will be riding in the Rush Triathlon on August 16th, and Daniel and I will both be riding in the Bear Lake Brawl Triathlon on September 6th. Guess we better get used to them quickly!

Spudman 2008

L to R: Me (babysitter and cheerleader), Torrie (team, swim), Hidee (full race), Carole (babysitter and cheerleader), Tammy (team, bike), and Daniel (team, run).

This weekend was the Spudman Triathlon in Burley, ID. I thought it would be an emotional race because I would be watching my husband out there (his first one) while I couldnt be a part of it. It did end up being an emotional race, but not at all for that reason.

Daniel and I left the older 3 children with his mom and headed up on Friday afternoon. Baby Jayden came along for the ride (Dan says we were breaking him in early). We met up with our group around 4 to get signed in and eat the carb up dinner. Then we went back to the hotel room for some sleep.

The next morning, we decided it was most practical for Daniel to ride over to the race with his teammates, while my friend Carole and I (Carole was helping with Torrie's baby while Torrie did the swim portion of the race) got the babies ready and took a separate car over a little later on. So they left around 6-ish to head over, and Carole and I headed out about 7:15, hoping to get there just in time to see Hidee and Torrie come out of the water.

As we arrived, Carole and I made our way to T2 and called Daniel to find out if Torrie was out of the water yet. He told us he was at T1 but their wave had been pulled out of the water and held back because a swimmer from an earier wave had gone missing. What a horrible thing. He told us that three women had seen this man put his hands in the air and call for help, and then go under, but not resurface. Carole and I decided to head down to T1 then, and wait it out with Daniel. We began walking when he called back to give me some more info, so we stopped close to the bank of the river. As we did so, we saw the rescue boat pull up right in front of us, and send in divers, tethered to the boat. It was obvious as we watched that they had located the missing swimmer and were pulling him out. By this point, he had been missing about a half hour. Carole and I just happened to be in the wrong spot, and were standing right there as they lifted the body out of the water and began to try to revive him, to no avail. What a heartwrenching thing to witness. At this point, the call needed to be made about what to do with the last wave of athletes. Most athletes wanted to continue afterwards, but the call was made to skip the swim, and do just a duathlon, with the bike and run portions.

We made our way down to T1 and met up with Daniel and Tammy (who was doing the bike portion). It was very chaotic as they tried to line up all the bikers who normally would have been coming out of the water one by one. The truth is, there was no accurate way now to time them with this kind of a start.

Tammy did the bike and did a great job. Daniel waited in T2 for her to finish, while Carole, myself, and Torrie took care of the babies. Tammy finished in about 1:19, and Dan took off into the run. He had it rough. Since the wave had been held back so long and he was the last wave as it was, it was now over an hour later than he should have been running and excruciatingly HOT! I waited at the finish, and watched as my friend Hidee came in from an earlier wave (she did the full race), and then waited for Dan to finish. Like a champ, tired and heat exhausted, he came down that hill and turned on the turbo speed, to finish the run. The run portion took him about 59 minutes.

Torrie, Daniel and Tammy's team came in right in the middle of the pack, but it's hard to really know what that means, since the start was so confusing and there was no swim...they started the time for everyone at once ,but it took a good 5 minutes for them all to actually get started.

Afterwards, we stopped at Red Lobster and had a great meal before heading back to the land of a million children ;)

I really enjoyed being able to share something I enjoy so much with Daniel and I have a feeling this won't be his last race. I can't wait to race it next year. At the same time, I send my thoughts and prayers to the family of Don Morehouse of Provo, the swimmer who was lost (incidentally, he happened to be the CEO of Slaymaker, who is over Winger's and TGI Fridays-my little brother works at TGI Fridays and knew him). Here is a link to the article with more details: http://www.magicvalley.com/articles/2008/07/27/news/local_state/141165.txt

Here are some pictures from the race:

Daniel waiting anxiously in T2 for Tammy's arrival

Tieing those shoes-probably a good idea. And that water bottle? Yeah, that's a good idea too...

Tammy, just after finishing the bike portion.

Daniel, sprinting to the finish.

50 yards to go...

And he makes it!!!

Yeah, he drank all of those ;)

Not wanting to walk another step-ever.

Showering off- a welcome relief.

The finish line at Spudman. I'll see you next year!

Before you have kids

No, I didnt make this up. I'm not this witty. But I couldnt resist posting it because it's my life times 4 :)


Follow these simple lessons before you decide to have children...

Lesson 1
Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home. Pick up a newspaper. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and advise them how to improve:1) Their methods of discipline.2) Their lack of patience.3) Their appallingly low tolerance levels.4) Their practice of allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
To discover how the nights will feel ...
1) Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag of old lentil soup weighing approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2) At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3) Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4) Set the alarm for 3am.
5) As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6) Go to bed at 2.45am.
7) Sing songs in the dark until 4 am.
8) Get up. Make breakfast.Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Lesson 4
Dressing small children is not as easy at it seems.
1) Buy a live octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2) Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1) Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2) Get a coin. Insert it in the cassette player.
3) Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits, mash them into the back seat.
4) Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.There.... perfect.

Lesson 6
Get ready to go out.
1) Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
2) Go out the front door.
3) Come in again.
4) Go out.
5) Come back in.
6) Go out again.
7) Walk down the front path/driveway.
8) Walk back up it.
9) Walk down it again.
10) Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11) Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect.
12) Retrace your steps
13) Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14) Give up and go back into the house.You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 7
Repeat everything you say at least, if not more than, 100 times.

Lesson 8
Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 9
1) Hollow out a melon.
2) Make a small hole in the side.
3) Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4) Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5) Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6) Tip half of the remainder into your lap. The other half just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.

Lesson 10
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.

Lesson 11
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost heap. Dig down about halfway in and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for two years. Get used to it.

Lesson 12
Make a recording of Janet Street-Porter or Pee Wee Herman shouting "Mummy" repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each "Mummy" - occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 13
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the "Mummy" tape made from Lesson 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Lesson 14Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day in which you have an important meeting. Now:
1) Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
2) Stir.
3) Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
4) Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel.
5) Do NOT change. You have no time.
6) Go directly to work.

Lesson 15
Go for a drive, but first....
1) Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls.
2) Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car.
3) Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car.
4) While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat.For the really adventurous.... Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.You are now ready to have kids!

A hobby, maybe someday a talent

I have always been a picture fanatic. I loooove to take pictures. Don't mistake that for me being any good :) Recently, I made an investment in my first DSLR camera, as opposed to just a point and shoot camera. It's a Nikon D40 and I love it! The camera is amazing, but unfortunately, quite a bit smarter than I am! So I have so much to learn just to be able to get the most out of it.

Lucky for me, I just so happened to meet another mom at Savannah's soccer practice who is also into photography. Her name is Brittany and we've gotten together a few times to take some pics (interestingly enough, my best friend Sandi is as well, we just haven't been able to get together and take any pics recently!). The goal has been to take Jayden's newborn pics but he will NOT cooperate! He screams and cries and we aren't having any luck! So we resorted to taking pics of him limbs and phalanges ;)

Here are a few pics that we took this week.

On the training train

Just a quick update on my training, for the heck of it :)

Saturday was the big test- go out running and see what happens. I had ridden my bike and done fine. I had gone for a swim and done fine. But running 4 weeks post baby could be bad.

I got out there, hoping to just go and not hurt, and I was able to run the full 3.1 miles with no issue at all. Except the fact that I am now painfully slow compared to my previous speed. Guess that will come with reconditioning time.

So running was good :) Made my day.

Today was test #2- see if I can fit in my wetsuit! We were swimming the lake. It happened to be a co-o-o-l-d morning, unfortunately. Guess I got baptism by fire. I put on my wetsuit and oh boy! Let's just say that above the waist, it was a tight squeeze. Which made breathing while swimming VERY difficult. The pool was nothing but in this suit- OUCH! After about 100 meters or so I got the hang of it, but again, I was painfully slow. My arms have lost so much muscle and the wetsuit pulled on my shoulders so I was quite a bit slower than I am in the pool.

After swimming, we changed and ran 1 mile, which also went well, just slow. I finished feeling really good physically, just slightly frustrated that I'm so far from where I was. It makes me really glad that I have a late season triathlon planned so hopefully, by then, I can be proud of my times.

On Friday of this week, we head to Burley where Dan will run in the Spudman Triathlon, an Olympic distance, with a couple of my friends. I will cheer from the sidelines and know that next year, I will be out there!

Am I brave or what?

Not only did I give birth to 4 children *brave*

Not only did I decide to do a triathlon when I did not know how to swim *brave*

Not only did I drive myself to the hospital in full blown labor *brave*

I totally out-braved myself this time.

This time I double-braved! First, I got into a swimsuit, 3 weeks post baby.

And while I was at it, I took 4 kids including my 18 month old, AND my 3 week old, to a water park, an hour and a half away from home. Yup. I am brave.

Last summer, with all my triathlon training, my kids got to spend a lot of time in the water. And they loved it! So they have been dying to go swimming this summer. Daniel has been traveling pretty much non-stop since Jayden was born, so when he got home Thursday night, we told the kids we would take them to Lava Hot Springs this weekend before he flew out again. Truth be told, I was not looking forward to sitting in the sweltering sun, covering up a fussy newborn for hours on end, while my family marinated. Jayden was 1 day post circumcision so his mood was unstable at best.

It must have been my lucky day. Savannah was just tall enough to ride the slides. Jaxon was having a blast in the water. Jayden slept most of the time and contentedly sucked on his pacifier. Some shade opened up for us to sit in. And Daniel took a turn with Jayden so I could play in the pool with the kids as well. It was such a fun family day!

Here are some pictures- of everyone in the family- but me. I may have gotten into a swimsuit 3 weeks post baby, but there would be no capturing of that image for posterity. I said I was brave-not crazy.

Savannah, Daniel and Jax in the pool

Jayden lovin' the bink

Mason shivering

Jaxon upping the cool factor

Savannah practicing hopping on one foot- a skill we all should master

Jax and Daddy, hangin' like boys do

Some hot guy I took a picture of at the pool (and incidentally, got to come home with me *wink*)

Savannah eating a protien bar

He's loving that water

Mason and Savannah walking up to the water slides.